{"id":4262,"date":"2023-07-12T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-07-12T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tisgdev.wpenginepowered.com\/?post_type=news&#038;p=4262"},"modified":"2025-10-15T13:48:33","modified_gmt":"2025-10-15T04:48:33","slug":"education-seminar-vol-9how-to-interact-with-children-so-they-growarchive-video-now-available-qa","status":"publish","type":"news","link":"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/en\/news\/education-seminar-vol-9how-to-interact-with-children-so-they-growarchive-video-now-available-qa\/","title":{"rendered":"Education Seminar Vol. 9\u201cHow to Interact with Children So They Grow\u201dArchive Video Now Available \/ Q&amp;A"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Hello Everyone,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>On Sunday, June 18, 2023, we held Education Seminar Vol. 9:<br>\u201cThinking with Kindergarten Trainer Mr. Dan \u2013 How to Interact with Children So They Grow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"432\" src=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/230618SeminarMrDanYoutubeThumbnail-768x432-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4249\" style=\"width:599px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/230618SeminarMrDanYoutubeThumbnail-768x432-1.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/230618SeminarMrDanYoutubeThumbnail-768x432-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/230618SeminarMrDanYoutubeThumbnail-768x432-1-600x338.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>For this seminar, our speaker was Tokyo International School Kindergarten Trainer<br><strong>Daniel Stapleton (Mr. Dan)<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Prior to the event, we asked parents to submit questions and concerns such as:<br>\u201cEven though I\u2019m trying and making an effort to keep daily life and learning smooth with my child,<br>things don\u2019t go as planned and I\u2019m not sure what to do.\u201d<br>The seminar proceeded in a Q&amp;A format responding to those submissions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Drawing on his many years of knowledge and experience, our school\u2019s educational philosophy,<br>and his own experiences as a parent, Mr. Dan addressed these questions.<br>In fact, during the ten days leading up to the seminar, we held three intensive prep meetings<br>to craft responses\u2014discussing what would help parents enjoy parenting more and, in a positive way,<br>feel it is easier, and what they should know in order to firmly support their children\u2019s growth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In this blog post, we share your questions and Mr. Dan\u2019s comments.<br>On the day of the seminar, our Kindergarten General Manager <strong>Ms. Aya<\/strong> also offered answers,<br>and we include her comments here as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Ms. Aya<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/210818ProfilePhoto_AyaM-150x150-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4250\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can view the archive of the seminar using the link below\u2014please take a look.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We have published the seminar video on YouTube!<br>Whether or not you joined us live, please watch it for review or catch-up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/_A4kHhdHgdY\">Seminar Video (Approx. 58 minutes)<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>[Contents]<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My child doesn\u2019t want to go to nursery school. How can I help them look forward to what lies ahead?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My older son loves video games and is reluctant to go to cram school; I\u2019m worried.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I get irritated when I have to repeat the same warnings and my tone becomes harsh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Tips for responding to undesirable behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My child wakes up early, so I\u2019d like them to study in the morning, but they aren\u2019t motivated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Avoids trying new things; wants someone with them for everything. How can we build independence?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My child struggles with time awareness. When can kids develop the habit of checking the clock?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mealtime drags on and the kids start playing; the older child lacks study time and the younger lacks sleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Summary of Key Messages from Mr. Dan<\/strong><br>\u25ce Children have \u201creasonable expectations\u201d appropriate to their age and individual developmental stage.<br>\u25ce Children live in the <strong>now<\/strong>. Their sense of time\u2014especially of past and future\u2014differs entirely from adults\u2019.<br>\u25ce Adopt an <strong>Age &amp; Stage<\/strong> perspective: focus on what children can do now, aligned with their age\/development.<br>\u25ce Keep <strong>Executive Functions<\/strong> in mind: many things adults expect children to \u201cbe able to do\u201d are skills they will acquire gradually as they develop.<br>\u25ce <strong>It takes time to learn time.<\/strong> Internalizing the concept of time takes\u2026 time.<br>\u25ce <strong>Be consistent.<\/strong> Patient, repeated, steady guidance. Mastery usually takes longer than adults expect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/SnapShot03-1024x576-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4251\" style=\"width:268px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/SnapShot03-1024x576-1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/SnapShot03-1024x576-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/SnapShot03-1024x576-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/SnapShot03-1024x576-1-600x338.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1\uff0eMy child doesn\u2019t want to go to nursery school\u2026 How can I help them look forward to what\u2019s next? (Parent of a pre\u2013K3 child)<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Mr. Dan<\/strong><br>Your child likely feels safe near their caregivers. That\u2019s a wonderful thing.<br>Here, the parent\u2019s stance and behavior are key.<br>\u201c<strong>Pull the band-aid off!<\/strong>\u201d<br>Rather than peeling away slowly, step away decisively\u2014like removing a bandage in one go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Ms. Aya<\/strong><br>Children live in the <strong>now<\/strong>.<br>Young children don\u2019t have a grasp of time\u2014especially not of past or future.<br>Telling them \u201cMom will come at \u25cf o\u2019clock. It\u2019s okay,\u201d often doesn\u2019t land. Keep that in mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Usually, once the next activity begins, children forget they were crying.<br>It\u2019s also important to create positive experiences\u2014short stays or familiar settings\u2014so they learn,<br>\u201cMom\/Dad always comes back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Mr. Dan<\/strong><br>At our kindergarten, we place visual magnets on a whiteboard for each daily activity\u2014<br>morning meeting, circle time, lunch, inquiry time, park time, etc.\u2014so children can <strong>see<\/strong> the sequence.<br>After each activity ends, we remove that magnet, and the very last one is \u201cPick-up \/ Go home.\u201d<br>We\u2019ll revisit time concepts again later in this post in response to another question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide01-1024x576-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4252\" style=\"width:437px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide01-1024x576-1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide01-1024x576-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide01-1024x576-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide01-1024x576-1-600x338.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2\uff0eMy first-grader loves games and avoids cram school.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Mr. Dan<\/strong><br>Distinguish between \u201ca task a child <em>could<\/em> do but something is getting in the way\u201d and<br>\u201ca task they simply cannot yet do because it develops later\u201d\u2014the latter relates to <strong>executive function<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For young children, parents should preview homework\/lesson content:<br>Is it too easy or too hard? Then sit with the child during the task.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Also note age-based limits to sustained attention and plan <strong>meaningful breaks<\/strong>.<br>Agree on breaks <em>in advance<\/em>\u2014and honor the agreement.<br>Typical focus spans: about 8\u201310 minutes at age 3; ~12 minutes at ages 4\u20136; ~20 minutes at age 8.<br>A sip of water or a restroom trip isn\u2019t a meaningful break; try ~3 minutes of light physical activity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Ms. Aya<\/strong><br>Parents tend to fixate on what children \u201ccan\u2019t do,\u201d but please don\u2019t worry.<br>What they <em>can<\/em> do will increase with development.<br>For example, \u201cstopping tears intentionally\u201d: young children can\u2019t yet regulate emotions and bodily reactions.<br>With growth, they learn how to calm themselves and judge\u2014based on context and feelings\u2014whether to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Consistency matters.<br>Consider whether past instances unintentionally rewarded undesirable tactics<br>(e.g., long explanations, whining) by letting the child skip homework or cram school.<br>Parents need the resolve to keep their own approach steady.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide02-1024x576-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4253\" style=\"width:507px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide02-1024x576-1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide02-1024x576-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide02-1024x576-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide02-1024x576-1-600x338.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3\uff0eI often find myself getting irritated and speaking harshly when I have to remind my child of the same thing over and over again.\uff08Parents of a K4 child\uff09\uff0fEven after telling my child the same thing many times (for example, about meals, bath time, or bedtime), they don\u2019t listen. I sometimes end up raising my voice or yelling. I would appreciate any advice on how to handle this.\uff08Parents of a Pre-K child\uff09<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Mr. Dan<\/strong><br>Let\u2019s review parent behavior from two angles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>First, what we call <strong>Age &amp; Stage<\/strong>: aligning expectations with developmental capacity<br>(see also earlier notes on <strong>executive functions<\/strong>).<br>There are things we can reasonably expect now, and things we should <em>not yet<\/em> expect.<br>Pause and ask whether your requests align with your child\u2019s current stage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>We covered this more academically in a previous seminar:<\/em><br>Education Seminar Vol. 4 \u201cLet\u2019s Increase What Children Can Do! \u2013 Developmental Stages and Social Skill Acquisition\u201d by Saki Koh<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/9TH1qmUEukQ\">Seminar Video<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg-as.com\/blog_and_seminars\/202111105513\/\">Post-Seminar Blog<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Second, the concept of <strong>time<\/strong>.<br>We often see explanations like \u201cYou\u2019ll be in trouble later,\u201d \u201cIt will help you in the future,\u201d<br>but children live in the now\u2014future-oriented reasons don\u2019t resonate.<br>Please focus on recognizing and praising what they can do <strong>right now<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Ms. Aya<\/strong><br>Because children live in the now, their actions aren\u2019t motivated by a chain from the past or toward the future.<br>They draw now because drawing is fun\u2014simple as that.<br>At the same time, around age 3 is a prime period to build daily <strong>routines<\/strong> that become the backbone of life:<br>bath after videos, play after finishing worksheets, brush teeth and get dressed after playing, and so on.<br>Crucially, caregivers should <strong>do these together<\/strong> with young children,<br>and ideally keep routines consistent even on weekends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Practical tips:<br>If you repeat the same words, children may tune them out.<br>If you say \u201cI\u2019ll tell you three times,\u201d then after the third time, stop the reminders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Also, always follow through on what you say:<br>\u201cShall we draw together after lunch?\u201d \u201cAfter three more turns, it\u2019s bedtime.\u201d<br>Doing these <strong>together<\/strong> smooths the process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Avoid ad-hoc exceptions like \u201cNot today because XX\u201d or \u201cJust one more because YY.\u201d<br>Consistency is vital when building routines.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/SnapShot02-1024x576-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4254\" style=\"width:377px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/SnapShot02-1024x576-1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/SnapShot02-1024x576-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/SnapShot02-1024x576-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/SnapShot02-1024x576-1-600x338.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">4\uff0eI would like to know some tips on how to respond effectively when my child shows undesirable behavior.\uff08Parents of a K3 child\uff09\uff0fMy older child has recently turned five, and we find ourselves getting angry more often. In daily life, they sometimes say unkind things to get attention from others.\uff08Parents of a K3 and a 5-year-old child\uff09<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Mr. Dan<\/strong><br>Key ideas: <strong>Temper Tantrums<\/strong> and <strong>Rewards &amp; Consequences<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Young children may have tantrums until a certain age\u2014it\u2019s part of development.<br>Know that some reactions are beyond their control.<br>At the same time, <strong>praise and discipline<\/strong> are important.<br>Use appropriate rewards and consequences proportional to the behavior\u2014without overreacting\u2014<br>and keep your responses <strong>consistent<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Ms. Aya<\/strong><br>When a younger sibling arrives, it\u2019s natural for parents to expect \u201cbig brother\/sister\u201d behavior.<br>But up to around age five, children still need caregiver support.<br>Be patient and provide that support even for the older child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When anger arises, first <strong>acknowledge the feeling<\/strong>.<br>Then show a concrete next step:<br>\u201cYou\u2019re angry about \u25cf\u25cf. I understand. Let\u2019s count to ten together\u20141, 2, 3\u2026 10!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Three-year-olds are egocentric; they don\u2019t yet grasp \u201cwhat not to do.\u201d<br>At our kindergarten, we learn about <strong>Empathy<\/strong> throughout the K3 year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg-as.com\/blog_and_seminars\/202302087391\/#8Term_3\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">>>Blog: \u201cKindergarten Teachers\u2019 Passion \u2013 Vol. 1\u201d (Nakameguro \u2013 Ms. Kaitlyn) &lt;&lt;<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If a child uses unkind words to seek attention, <strong>don\u2019t<\/strong> reinforce it by reacting.<br>They may be repeating a behavior that previously got them attention.<br>Instead, withhold attention for the negative tactic and teach the <strong>right<\/strong> way to seek attention:<br>\u201cNo one will want to play when you do that\u2014it feels sad, right?<br>When you want attention, try saying \u25cf\u25cf.\u201d<br>Then, when they use the right approach, respond clearly and <strong>praise it<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide04-1024x576-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4255\" style=\"width:569px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide04-1024x576-1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide04-1024x576-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide04-1024x576-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide04-1024x576-1-600x338.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">5\uff0eMy child wakes up early, so I would like to have them do some kind of learning activity in the morning, but it\u2019s difficult to motivate them.\uff08Parents of a K3 and a 5-year-old child\uff09<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Mr. Dan<\/strong><br>\u201c<strong>Work \/ Life Balance<\/strong>\u201d applies to children, too.<br>Consider why your child woke early, and help them balance \u201cwork\u201d (study, routines) with enjoyable activities.<br>As in the fable <em>The Ant and the Grasshopper<\/em>: work first, then fun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Ms. Aya<\/strong><br>Waking up early is great in itself!<br>If mornings are forced study time, children may link \u201cwaking early\u201d with \u201cbeing made to do unpleasant things\u201d<br>and stop wanting to get up.<br>Balance what parents hope for with what the child <strong>wants<\/strong> to do.<br>Keep it short and make it enjoyable so it becomes sustainable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide05-1024x576-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4256\" style=\"width:533px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide05-1024x576-1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide05-1024x576-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide05-1024x576-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide05-1024x576-1-600x338.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">6\uff0e My child is not good at trying new things. They need to observe others and see that the other children can do it before they feel confident enough to try, especially for physical activities. They want someone to do everything together with them. What can I do to help foster their independence?\uff08Parent of a K3 child\uff09<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Mr. Dan<\/strong><br>Children don\u2019t need \u201cchallenges\u201d per se.<br>If \u201cnew\u201d equals \u201cfun,\u201d they\u2019ll dive in\u2014so <strong>shape the environment<\/strong> to make it feel that way.<br>If \u201cnew\u201d feels like a <strong>challenge<\/strong>, caution is natural.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They may also fear failure\u2014choose words carefully when things don\u2019t go well.<br>Encourage the mindset: \u201cIt\u2019s okay to fail; let\u2019s try again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Turn \u201cfirsts\u201d into play and model <strong>joyful participation<\/strong> as a parent.<br>Don\u2019t \u201cpractice tennis\u201d; defeat the aliens! Not \u201clet\u2019s run drills,\u201d but \u201clet\u2019s play tag!\u201d<br>Skip \u201ccatch practice\u201d\u2014try dodgeball-style rules.<br>Let children invent rules\u2014their imagination is limitless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Ms. Aya<\/strong><br>Being observant from a young age is a strength.<br>Your child understands themselves and steps forward when it feels safe.<br>Judging one\u2019s timing is as valuable as fearlessly jumping in.<br>If you consistently <strong>praise the attempt<\/strong> (not only the outcome), confidence will grow and hesitation will shrink.<br>Pushing them away can leave only a bad memory.<br>Accompany them as much as possible\u2014<br>you may find independence comes <strong>sooner<\/strong> when they can eventually say, \u201cI\u2019m okay. I\u2019ll do it by myself.\u201d<br>Remember: <strong>praise the attempt<\/strong>, not just success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide06-1024x576-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4257\" style=\"width:571px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide06-1024x576-1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide06-1024x576-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide06-1024x576-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide06-1024x576-1-600x338.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">7\uff0eMy child has difficulty being aware of time. At what age can I expect them to develop the habit of checking the clock?\uff08Parent of a Pre-K child\uff09\uff0fEven when my child sits at their desk, they tend to be sluggish and have difficulty concentrating. I correct their posture and handwriting because it becomes sloppy, but it\u2019s hard to get them to improve.\uff08Parent of a child in Grade 3 or above\uff09<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We received more questions on time management than any other topic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Mr. Dan<\/strong><br>First, understand that young children <strong>do not<\/strong> have a concept of time.<br>They learn to read clocks around K3\u2013Grade 1, but managing behavior by the clock usually appears around Grades 3\u20134.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Ms. Aya<\/strong><br>Exactly\u2014true understanding of time comes around Grades 3\u20134.<br>Until then, future-oriented explanations won\u2019t make sense.<br>Because children live in the now, they also forget the past quickly.<br>Tell them what they can do <strong>now<\/strong> and what will happen <strong>right after<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Say, \u201cLet\u2019s practice <strong>then<\/strong> read a picture book,\u201d or, \u201cAfter \u25b2\u25b2 we\u2019ll do \u25cf\u25cf,\u201d<br>linking <strong>now<\/strong> to the <strong>immediate next<\/strong> step.<br>\u201cDo homework at \u25a0 o\u2019clock,\u201d \u201cOnly five minutes left,\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re going out this afternoon, so practice now\u201d\u2014<br>these won\u2019t land, because children can\u2019t gauge how far away \u25a0 o\u2019clock is or how long \u201cfive minutes\u201d or \u201cthis afternoon\u201d is.<br>Similarly, at drop-off, \u201cI\u2019ll be back soon\u201d is hard to grasp\u2014hence prolonged crying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At our kindergarten, we sometimes place a big arrow on the classroom clock and say,<br>\u201cWhen the long hand reaches the arrow, we\u2019ll do \u25cf\u25cf.\u201d<br>We also display colorful sequence cards to \u201cmake visible\u201d what\u2019s done, what\u2019s happening now, and what\u2019s next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide07-1024x576-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4258\" style=\"width:551px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide07-1024x576-1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide07-1024x576-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide07-1024x576-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide07-1024x576-1-600x338.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">8\uff0eIt\u2019s great that my children get along well, but their mealtimes often run long or they end up playing together. As a result, my older child doesn\u2019t get enough study time, and my younger child doesn\u2019t get enough sleep, which is a concern.\uff08Parent of a Grade 2 child and a younger sibling\uff09<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Ms. Aya<\/strong><br>It\u2019s wonderful that they get along.<br>If the younger child can participate, try spending time in the same space doing similar activities,<br>then play together once the older sibling is finished.<br>For example, hold a pencil or crayon and work on a simple worksheet, or draw silently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If the younger child finishes first and gets bored, they may gradually learn that the older sibling needs more time.<br>When setting a study window like \u201cuntil \u25cf\u25cf o\u2019clock,\u201d use a child-friendly approach:<br>set a timer <strong>together<\/strong>\u2014the key is that children help set it, which builds ownership.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide08-1024x576-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4259\" style=\"width:581px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide08-1024x576-1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide08-1024x576-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide08-1024x576-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/DanSlide08-1024x576-1-600x338.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015\u2015<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We have published the seminar archive on YouTube!<br>Whether you missed the event or would like to review it, please watch the full recording.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/_A4kHhdHgdY\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">>> Seminar Video (Approx. 58 minutes) &lt;&lt;<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Our next Education Seminar\u2014featuring a new speaker and theme\u2014is planned for <strong>September 2023<\/strong>.<br>We will announce the topic and registration on this blog and via Twitter.<br>Please look forward to it!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hello Everyone, On Sunday, June 18, 2023, we held Education Seminar Vol. 9:\u201cThinking with Kindergarten Trainer Mr. Dan \u2013 How to Interact with Children So They Grow.\u201d For this seminar, our speaker was Tokyo International School Kindergarten TrainerDaniel Stapleton (Mr. Dan). Prior to the event, we asked parents to submit questions and concerns such as:\u201cEven though I\u2019m trying and making an effort to keep daily life and learning smooth with my child,things don\u2019t go as planned and I\u2019m not sure what to do.\u201dThe seminar proceeded in a Q&amp;A format responding to those submissions. Drawing on his many years of knowledge and experience, our school\u2019s educational philosophy,and his own experiences as a parent, Mr. Dan addressed these questions.In fact, during the ten days leading up to the seminar, we held three intensive prep meetingsto craft responses\u2014discussing what would help parents enjoy parenting more and, in a positive way,feel it is easier, and what they should know in order to firmly support their children\u2019s growth. In this blog post, we share your questions and Mr. Dan\u2019s comments.On the day of the seminar, our Kindergarten General Manager Ms. Aya also offered answers,and we include her comments here as well. Ms. Aya You can view the archive of the seminar using the link below\u2014please take a look. We have published the seminar video on YouTube!Whether or not you joined us live, please watch it for review or catch-up. [Contents] My child doesn\u2019t want to go to nursery school. How can I help them look forward to what lies ahead? My older son loves video games and is reluctant to go to cram school; I\u2019m worried. I get irritated when I have to repeat the same warnings and my tone becomes harsh. Tips for responding to undesirable behavior. My child wakes up early, so I\u2019d like them to study in the morning, but they aren\u2019t motivated. Avoids trying new things; wants someone with them for everything. How can we build independence? My child struggles with time awareness. When can kids develop the habit of checking the clock? Mealtime drags on and the kids start playing; the older child lacks study time and the younger lacks sleep. Summary of Key Messages from Mr. Dan\u25ce Children have \u201creasonable expectations\u201d appropriate to their age and individual developmental stage.\u25ce Children live in the now. Their sense of time\u2014especially of past and future\u2014differs entirely from adults\u2019.\u25ce Adopt an Age &amp; Stage perspective: focus on what children can do now, aligned with their age\/development.\u25ce Keep Executive Functions in mind: many things adults expect children to \u201cbe able to do\u201d are skills they will acquire gradually as they develop.\u25ce It takes time to learn time. Internalizing the concept of time takes\u2026 time.\u25ce Be consistent. Patient, repeated, steady guidance. Mastery usually takes longer than adults expect. 1\uff0eMy child doesn\u2019t want to go to nursery school\u2026 How can I help them look forward to what\u2019s next? (Parent of a pre\u2013K3 child) Mr. DanYour child likely feels safe near their caregivers. That\u2019s a wonderful thing.Here, the parent\u2019s stance and behavior are key.\u201cPull the band-aid off!\u201dRather than peeling away slowly, step away decisively\u2014like removing a bandage in one go. Ms. AyaChildren live in the now.Young children [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":4380,"parent":0,"template":"","tags":[],"Locations":[],"news-category":[7],"class_list":["post-4262","news","type-news","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","news-category-seminars"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Education Seminar Vol. 9\u201cHow to Interact with Children So They Grow\u201dArchive Video Now Available \/ Q&amp;A - Tokyo International Kindergarten<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Hello Everyone, On Sunday, June 18, 2023, we held Education Seminar Vol. 9:\u201cThinking with Kindergarten Trainer Mr. Dan \u2013 How to Interact with Children So\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/tokyois-kg.com\/news\/\u6559\u80b2\u30bb\u30df\u30ca\u30fc\u7b2c9\u56de\u300c\u5b50\u3069\u3082\u304c\u80b2\u3064\u63a5\u3057\u65b9\u300d\u52d5\u753b\u914d\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Education Seminar Vol. 9\u201cHow to Interact with Children So They Grow\u201dArchive Video Now Available \/ Q&amp;A - 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